Lauren Laws

Okay, since Lauren has not posted these yet I think I sould. You need to know them. They are called...*drumroll* Lauren Laws!!! Yes, I did cowrite them. Enjoy!!!

Never put pepper on your ice cream.

Never put ketchup on your tacos.

Never put peanut butter on your top ramen.

Never put concord grape jelly on your tortillas.

Never eat spinach under water.

Tulips are not for exhaling.

All vitamins must be taken at two a.m.

Creepy lady’s that hold pineapples are not permitted to enter any Taco Bell nation wide.

If you happen upon an Amish man, you must greet him, formally or informally, in Spanish.

You must remember that candy canes are a winter time treat and must not be taken advantage of during summer days.

Never ask if the chicken or the egg came first while eating a pastrami sandwich.

When in doubt color with an orange Crayola marker while standing on your head.

Thirteen must not be thought of as an unlucky number or bad omen, it must be embraced, excepted in society, and loved unconditionally.

Ice cream is a miraculous treat that should be savored, not frowned upon.

At the Ostergar household the computer mouse is called the “remote”.

Pancakes in the evening are frowned upon and are thought of as sticky and disgraceful.

When driving in the car on your way to California, you must at least once make an impersonation of Michael Jackson.

When inspired, express your feelings through interpretive dance.

If entering the land of total and complete nonsense remember that 2 x 3 = 5 and not 6.

Never urinate in the dark unless absolutely necessary.

Never feed Erica to vampires or sharks.

When Erica dies funeral potatoes are not an entrée to be served at her funeral.

When eating salsa you must eat at least one of the green peppers on your chip.

The only workout video you are allowed to use is Laughing with Lauren.
If you have read all these rules you are bound to them.